…I’m gonna let it shine.
I’ve recently come to realize that God is in the business of deliberately and strategically putting me in the right place at the right time. However, I can look back on my past and see that some of those places seemed like the wrong place and the wrong time. I definitely need to trust Him more and be led by the spirit- not by the selfish and shallow desires I have for my own life. :/ It’s been really encouraging to see how my past failures and the situations that have brought me pain have clearly prepared me for the things I am going through right now – and also for the experiences that lie ahead. I have learned that I can chase my God-ordained destiny by seizing the God-ordained experiences that I am presented with. No matter if (to me) these experiences seem to be good things or bad.
If I don’t step out in faith and embrace these things – I am literally robbing God of glory that He rightfully deserves. [No guts no glory] I really feel like God is challenging me to be radical with some areas in my life that I have always been mediocre in. I think that I have been measuring spiritual maturity in the wrong way for my entire life. Reading my bible, praying, not having sex, and not drinking are all really great but a lot of time, that's where I stop. Well, thankfully God smacked me upside my head said, "Angelica, wake up!" – people that are spending eternity in hell, people that the Lord will one day depart from, are doing that very same thing right now. I'm most definitely not schooled enough to argue any kind of theology, nor am I trying to. I may be taking these verses out of context and misinterpreting them - which I hope God will show me - but all I know is right now I am feeling really convicted by them. I am a [more than slightly] lame Christian opposed to the radical, on fire, head over heals in love, Jesus Follower that I desire to be. I showed this video a few weeks ago at ADPi bible study and it definitely illustrates this idea.
I just don't think that being a Jesus follower is supposed to be as safe, as civilized, as comfortable as my (so called) christian lifestyle has been. As I look back on what I've been doing all my life I can see that usually my prayers have consisted of asking God to make my life more comfortable, asking him to take care of things for me, asking him to give me things or to bring favor upon me. I have recently tried to stop doing that. I've seen more and more lately that God does some pretty sick work when the odds are against someone. In fact, sometimes he doesn't even intervene until the situation is so desperate that any kind of safety or recovery (life) seems possible. I think this is so we don't even have the chance to claim the victory as our own - so we can not mistake His hand in the outcome. God loves impossible odds. (Lazarus, Daniel, Gideon, Benaiah)
So I want God to stack the worldly odds against me so that only He can get glory. I want to experience the spirit of the Lord performing miracles that are divine and outlandish. I think that is a big part of what faith means - trusting in God, no matter how impossible the odds are. I'm pumped for this because I know that going through these tough situations will allow me a deeper insight into the dimensions of God's glory. This is why I get excited when people ask me about Uganda and say, "Are you crazy?!" " Aren't you scared?!" "Africa...by yourself?" Now, I'm definitely not trying to compare my situation with that of Daniel's or Benaiah's, because believe me I would probably be scared in their shoes. However, between the recent civil war with the LRA, the prevalence of AIDS/HIV, the disease, and in the way I'm going, I kinda feel like the odds are stacking up. It's only by God's strength - but I am not scared. I know that God will provide. I know that if it's God's will to keep me safe - to bring me back - then that's just what He'll do. I know that if it's God's will for something to happen (whether it be sickness, physical pain, death...) - then that's just what He'll do. Whatever it may be - To Him be the glory!
"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." - Ephesians 2:10
I think it's probably about time to stop creating God in my image and allow Him to create me in His.
